By Editor’s note: Joshua Wills, a 19-year-old sophomore at Franciscan University in Steubenvillle, Ohio, shares this story with Embodied’s Kathleen Basi.
I first heard about theology of the body from my mom. I was homeschooled, and for my senior year my mom signed me up for an online TOB class. The way she talked about it made it seem like I was going to be taking a health class, so I was really hesitant, actually!
But what I was learning really started to resonate when we began going through the sacrament of marriage. I learned how each of the sacraments is a reflection of the Trinity. I felt that this tied together much of the Catholic faith in a very beautiful way and helped me to understand the sacraments more fully – especially the Sacrament of Matrimony. While I absolutely loved the Church before, the theology of the body led me to a deeper and more beautiful understanding not only of marriage, but also of God, the Church and myself.
About a year prior to this dive into TOB, I started realizing that I felt attracted to other men. Because of what the Catholic Church teaches about homosexual sex, I knew that living a homosexual lifestyle wasn’t an option for me. I love God and his Church too much to actively live a lifestyle that was prohibited by it.
But that didn’t stop me from wondering why I wasn’t allowed to. Was there a reason that was more than just “the Bible says not to”?
A deeper understanding
As I learned more about the theology of the body, I appreciated more and more the act of sex within the context of the sacrament of marriage. A married couple’s physical love is meant to be acts of complete self-giving that reflect Christ’s ultimate self-giving on the cross — which brought new life. This increased appreciation allowed me to see a deeper reason for the Church’s teaching against homosexual sex: because homosexual acts corrupt the procreative nature of the marital act, they do not reflect God, but are sterile. Because of this new understanding, I grew in my desire to more fully offer my own homosexual desires to God as a sacrifice. I know I likely face a future of many hardships, but I trust that God will be with me and supply the graces I need to grow in strength and wisdom.
Learning about the theology of the body also made me see how all the sacraments enable us to spread God’s love to others. I am currently studying clinical psychology, and I want to be a therapist. So this aspect of the TOB especially has been coming to mind as I’ve asked myself how I am personally called to evangelize and spread God’s love to others.
Another thing I’ve noticed since learning TOB is that I now look at all of my relationships through the lens of giving and receiving as well. I’ve been thinking that being authentic with people and having authentic relationship involves not only receiving other people’s gifts and what they have to offer but also offering in return – not only your experiences and feelings but also your gifts.
