By I was sitting out on the deck in our backyard. An old pine tree towered behind me, birds chirped and flitted from branch to branch, and the sun began to sink, casting ombre colors across the sky.
But I was staring at a screen.
It was summer of 2020 when many book clubs were conducted via Zoom, including the study I was doing with other women from my parish on “The Catholic Table” by Emily Stimpson Chapman. It may seem paradoxical, as a major theme of the book is on hospitality – something many of us were discouraged from offering during the beginning of the pandemic. Yet the lessons I learned are evergreen, and they have changed how I view welcoming others.
In Chapman’s chapter on “The Gift of Hospitality,” she starts out by sharing how she hosted weekly dinner parties in grad school in her 1915 fixer upper. She provided the entree and her 20-plus friends brought the sides, beverages and sweets. Despite some people having to sit on the floor and breathe in construction dust, they kept coming back. They came back because love was shown through the food prepared and the community built. She wasn’t focusing on herself as the host, nor a Pinterest-perfect space. She focused on those who she was inviting in.
She writes about how preparing food and drink for others is a way of imaging God’s love. “For Christians, feeding guests isn’t about proving our own generosity; it’s a participation in God’s generosity.” This mirrors the teaching of theology of the body, to make a gift of ourselves and to acknowledge the gift — the personhood — of the other.
This is something I have been reflecting on a lot lately. Everything in my home is not my own. It is all gift and ultimately given to me to be shared, even if sometimes it might seem uncomfortable because it falls short of a perceived image I have in my mind.
Chapman acknowledges this, writing: “…hospitality is still a sacrifice. Inviting others into our home always costs us time, money and occasional sleep (so many late nights doing dishes). It gives us the chance to die to ourselves for the sake of others. It is an opportunity, in the midst of the daily business of life, to imitate Christ.”
In my current state in life, I have toddlers waking up at 6:30 a.m. and an infant breastfeeding through the night. Chapman’s example on losing sleep is one I can relate to. At the same time, I love inviting people into our home, and I can afford an occasional late night.
I really appreciate the wisdom in this chapter, reminding me that at the end of the day, hospitality is about love and creating space where others can let down their guard, exhale and just be. The best part is that this can be achieved beautifully with a humble home and a simple meal, so long as the door is opened with a warm hello and the meal is cooked with love.
