By As a first-time mom-to-be, I had yet to dive into the world of pregnancy and birthing books. I was hesitant to begin reading “What To Expect When You’re Expecting,” as I heard it gave a thorough account of everything that miraculously goes right, as well as what could go wrong – and I was nervous enough.
Not sure where to start, a friend recommended the book “Made For This: The Catholic Mom’s Guide to Birth.” This is a book written through the lens of theology of the body, where author Mary Haseltine encourages her readers to invite God to be part of everything, from pregnancy to the postpartum period. It is a toolbox for approaching birth with confidence and grace, with a deep-set knowledge that God created you “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14).
In her chapter on “The Feminine Genius of Birth,” Mary writes that whether or not one becomes a physical mother, “a woman is designed to bring new life into the world, and our bodies are a reflection of that soul-deep reality.”
How true this is!
Her chapter on “The Design of Birth” speaks to oxytocin, the amazing bonding hormone. This hormone “is released in torrential amounts during three main times: orgasm, labor contractions and while breastfeeding.” God designed us for connection, and He created our bodies in a way that reflects this beautiful truth.
“Our bodies are meant to work with our souls and are designed to reinforce and work with spiritual reality,” Mary writes. How awesome is this?!
When my husband and I were taking childbirth classes, we learned the importance of welcoming contractions instead of fighting them, which makes labor more painful. To help prepare me for this, my husband, who was a college athlete, started freezing giant cups of ice in our freezer. He had experienced the benefits of ice baths (something that is all the rage right now) and thought it would be a good coaching method to have me take an ice bath in our home in order to learn how to breathe through the shock of the chill.
As I noticed our freezer turning into Antarctica, however, I quickly ended this well-intentioned strategy. While my husband was trying to offer some very practical (perhaps more masculine?) help, I instead leaned into one of the women quoted in Haseltine’s book, who visualized contractions “as waves on the beach, (and) I go in and out with them. Don’t fight them, but work with them.”
This visual cue was helpful for me as I entered active labor. I much preferred to imagine labor while sunbathing at a tropical destination.
My water broke naturally as our first child announced her arrival into the world, and though I did experience hours of active labor, I ultimately needed a cesarean as my daughter was breech. I appreciated that Haseltine wrote about mothers who experience childbirth both naturally and surgically. For mothers who need a cesarean birth, Haseltine writes: “How Christlike it is as she offers her body, cut and opened, for this precious new little life! She gives completely of herself, often abandoning her will for the sake of her child.”
She quotes a story of a mother who needed a C-section and was not able to do skin-to-skin right away, a reality that I also shared. This mother offered this sacrifice up in union with Mary, who must have also deeply suffered when she was unable to hold her Son during His passion. It gives me so much strength to imagine Mary walking beside me in my struggles, and together with me, offering it up as a prayer.
While I don’t subscribe to every single idea that Haseltine presents, like trying to avoid pain medication during labor or what seems to be her preference for home births, I do love her concrete tips on how to see childbirth through a spiritual lens and found it well worth the read. The beauty of God’s amazing design of the female body shines forth, providing a depth this first-time mom found refreshing and uplifting.
