St. Nicholas, known to many as Santa, was a real guy. Yeah, it’s true! A wonderworker who lived in the third century, he has many miraculous stories to his name and one of the best-known stories also gives us insights into living out theology of the body principles.
Though details of accounts vary, the gist is this: The generous Bishop of Myra threw sacks of coins into the open window (or, down the chimney in some re-tellings) of a home with three impoverished young women. Of marrying age, yet without a dowry, their fate was prostitution. The anonymous gifts landed in their stockings drying by the fireplace (or maybe their shoes, depending on who is relaying it).
With the gold, the women could now be wed! It’s easy to see the details of our modern Santa in this story.
Its ties to theology of the body are also clear. God created human persons to be loved, not used. Prostitution violates both the bodies and souls of the persons involved – and to be forced into that violation is beyond horrible. Nicholas’ gift protected the women. And what’s more, it shows us an example of how we can steward God’s gifts, material and otherwise: generously, without reserve, seeking the good of the other and expecting nothing in return. Theology of the body shines through this story, teaching us that our actions reveal our true selves.
St. Nicholas is not only the patron of women seeking husbands, but children as well. There are many stories, perhaps less known in the West, that involve him saving, rescuing or helping children – even interceding to bring them back from the dead!
Balancing act
St. Nicholas, gifts, abundance, materialism, commercialism, generosity – how can we make sense of all of this, as people of faith and givers of gifts who see our modern secular Santa deliver over-the-top gifts year after year? How can we save our children from greed and entitlement? And ourselves from the temptation to overdo it?
Should we forgo all gifts?
No!
Being guided by theology of the body doesn’t mean getting rid of all our stuff. After all, God created our world for us, and don’t forget that we are “stuff,” too. I mean, we are really good stuff. At the end of each day of creation, God would declare what he made as “good.” But after he created man and woman he declared it “very good.” Unlike the rest of creation, we’re created in his image and likeness; we can reason, think and choose. And, unlike angels, we have both bodies and souls. And both matter because we are to use them to love one another! St. Nicholas didn’t just tell the women: “Good luck, I’ll be praying for you.” He gave them material help to remedy their situation. Our bodies matter because it is in and through our bodies that we love one another.
Christmas itself is completely about the body. God himself came down to Earth and became incarnate. He took on a human form and experienced everything about the human body and human emotions there are to be experienced. He sacrificed his very body and blood on the cross for our salvation and continues to offer his body and blood throughout time in the Eucharist.
Keeping the love and gift connection in mind helps us realize that what we give our children (or decide not to give them) could help or hinder them on the path to seeking the ultimate gift – Jesus – and the ultimate destination – heaven. It is possible to both love our kids and also have limits that help us creatively and generously express our love and care.
May your Advent be peaceful and your Christmas overflowing with the abundant gifts that will set you free to pursue the greatest gift of all: embracing the love of Christ and joining him in heaven someday.
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Getting practical
How can we give like St. Nicholas?
For your consideration, here are a few things that have worked for our family. (Many of these were learned from other parents, wiser than us!)
Set limits
Limits actually set you free! To avoid getting sucked into the hoopla and outrageousness of the gift-giving frenzy, set limits. Limits invite creativity!
A couple of ways we’ve set limits to gift-giving:
Set a budget together as a couple (and stick to it, checking in throughout the shopping season).
Limit either the number of gifts or dollar amount spent on each child. For example: Give each child three gifts, mirroring the wisemen’s three gifts to Jesus. Perhaps: a fun gift, a gift to grow in faith/virtue, a gift that is needed.
Invite the kids to write a fill-in-the-blank list with several categories: Something I Want, Something I Need, Something I’ll Wear, Something I’ll Read (a couple of years we’ve included “Something to Eat” because, well, we all love treats around here).
Use a Secret Santa name-draw so siblings can buy one gift for another sibling rather than for each one. Keep it a secret until Christmas Day to add a bit of fun and anticipation.
Experiences & service
Not all gifts are things. Experiences usually make wonderful gifts.
One year we woke the kids up in the middle of the night (or maybe 9:30 pm…but hey, they were little!) with sounds of a train whistle and the clickety-clack of the engine chugging along a track. Hot chocolate and a fancy ticket were pressed into their hands as they were buckled into a warmed-up car for a drive around the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights.
This was capped off with a snacky feast and screening of Polar Express late into the night wrapped in fleece blankets. It was one of the most memorable experiences we’ve planned.
The cost? $10 for the hot chocolate.
Memories? Priceless. Years later, we still talk about this.
We’ve also given our kids gift certificates for special times in the 12 days of Christmas: going out for coffee or lunch with just Mom and Dad. This is an experience that is not an everyday occurrence in a family with six kids like ours. We often are a big clump. One-on-one time is very special.
We’ve hosted sledding parties and potlucks with friends, gone deal-hunting at our favorite thrift store or picked out old-fashioned sodas and treats at a local vintage candy shop. Our kids have gone to the Asian market in our neighborhood and cooked a feast for us!
We’ve baked treats for neighbors, caroled at the nursing home across the street for many years, participated in music ministry for one or more Christmas Masses in the parish, donated food to the food pantry, and more.
Here’s another idea, inspired by my friend’s tradition. Their family purchases small gift cards, in the $5 range, then prayerfully drives around their small town on Dec. 6. They ask the Holy Spirit to indicate who they should surprise. They will ring a doorbell or slip a gift card in a mailbox and just simply say, “Happy St. Nicholas Day!” The surprise cards and generosity are a wonderful way to make the invisible visible.
All of these experiences communicate and make our love visible. And leave lasting impressions on our children.