Luke Spehar is a writer and musician but along the way found an unusual calling in becoming a fatherhood coach. He is the lead man behind The Good Father Program, launched eight years ago after Luke noticed a lack of resources to support fathers in the Twin Cities. The Good Father Program works to fill this gap by walking alongside those who are navigating an unexpected pregnancy as well as those who are already fathers.
All of the resources Spehar has helped to create are housed under a non-profit organization called AIM (Always Intentional Man). Its vision: a world where every child has a good father.
They offer several different coaching-related programs for fathers.
“We offer certified life coaching at no cost to our clients to raise their self-awareness so that they can stay grounded in their values as they work toward their goals,” Spehar said.
He gets amazing feedback from clients.
One client followed up five years after graduating from the program. He had enrolled when he and his girlfriend were facing an unplanned pregnancy and seriously considering an abortion.
Spehar relayed the update: The couple ultimately decided to choose life, and the father completed The Good Father Program.
“He told me that, although we hadn’t talked in several years, he remembered his experience had been so helpful that, without being asked by his wife, he reached out recently to schedule a life coaching session with me. He had married his girlfriend, and they had another child since I saw him last. He wanted some guidance to process how he was navigating his growing family.”
After their conversation, Spehar got to meet their 5-year old son.
Other feedback Spehar has received: “Through the program I learned to love myself and know my value,” and “Coaching helped my husband and I to be more open with each other. It invited in important topics that we could discuss together.”
“One time I even worked with a young man who was there to support his sister who had an unexpected pregnancy,” Spehar recalled. This young man was excited to learn that he, too, would qualify for their services to help him support his own children.
“He was stepping in not only to support his sister through the challenges of her unexpected pregnancy, but was able to learn how to become a more intentional father for his own young family who were in process of immigrating to the U.S.,” Spehar recounts. “Not even the fact that he was a country away from his family kept him from becoming the best father he could be.”
Drafting your mission
While going through The Good Father Program program, fathers are invited to create their own mission statement. This serves to remind them of how they want to show up for their families.
“Over and over, their mission statements say things like: ‘I am a father who is present to my family’ or and ‘I will work hard to provide my children with all they need physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.’ These men really put the work in every week to better themselves and live for their families.”
These men want to be a gift.
St. John Paul II often spoke of the sincere gift of self. In one of his theology of the body audiences (January 16, 1980), the pope said: “…it is indispensable that man may be able to ‘give himself,’ that he may become a gift, that he will be able to ‘fully discover his true self’ in ‘a sincere giving of himself.’”
That message resonates deeply with Spehar.
“St. John Paul II points out that men are built in such a way that when a man gives of himself for another’s benefit, he opens himself up in a special way to receive,” he said. “I have seen time and again that when a man gives of himself by always making intentional decisions to benefit his family and puts those decision into action, he in turn receives what he deeply desires: to become the best father he can be.”