Wisdom from St. Francis De Sales for the Distracted Catholic
Have you ever sat down to pray the Rosary and you faithfully count the beads and say the prayers yet get to the end and try to recall which mysteries you were supposed to be meditating on?
Distractions in prayer are common, but we tend to feel really bad about them. Like so many things in the spiritual life, the challenges actually help us grow. I’ve been reflecting on the many aspects of distraction in my own life after writing about it for Embodied magazine, and the Lord is still blessing me with areas of, ahem, growth and clarification, I’ll say.
Thankfully, even canonized saints struggled with distraction and recognized it as a common problem, so they taught about it in their preaching, writing and interactions.
As he’s one of the patron saints of writers, I tend to go first to my pal St. Francis de Sales. When I’m short on time and feeling frantic, I remember: “Every one of us needs half an hour of prayer a day, except when we are busy – then we need an hour.”
When I’m running from one thing to the next and not seeming to gain any traction in the duties of motherhood, homeschooling, writing and the odd load of laundry that I somehow throw in, I recall his advice:
“Undertake all of your duties with a calm mind and try to do them one at a time. If you try to do them all at once, or without order, your spirits will be so overcharged and depressed that they will likely sink under the burden and nothing will be done. In all of your affairs, rely on the providence of God through which alone you must look for success. Strive quietly to cooperate with its designs.”
Quiet striving – one task at a time – is the ideal, and it is undergirded by a steadfast trust in God’s providence and his design for us as humans.
A cluttered heart
While providing for the many needs of a family, it’s so easy to get caught up in the material things of life – either the clutter or the consumerism that is rooted in our culture (and in myself). This quote from one of the early church fathers, St. Gregory the Great, really encourages me:
“Whatever you possess must not possess you; whatever you own must be under the power of your soul; for if your soul is powered by the love of this world’s goods, it will be totally at the mercy of its possessions. In other words, we make use of temporal things, but our hearts are set on what is eternal. Temporal goods help us on our way, but our desire must be for those eternal realities which are our goal.”
September is busy, but I’m trying to keep my heart set on the eternal, because God placed that desire in me. Staying rooted in theology of the body helps.
I’ve been reflecting on this quote from St. Ignatius of Loyola:
“The more completely we focus our attention on our Creator and Lord, the less chance there is of our being distracted by creatures.”
This reminds me that people are ends in themselves; we’re not to use people in any way. Within our hearts beats the design of our Creator, God the Father, who made us to know him.
We get to know him through giving. This is the heart of TOB: self-gift.
We see it in the Trinity. God first gave us life. His son opened the gates of heaven by giving up his life. And the Holy Spirit animates our goals and plans, guiding us to closer relationship with God.
Here’s to savoring this season with a calm mind, trusting in God, taking tasks one at a time.
Stay tuned for part two of this series next month!
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Discussion Questions
1. Reflect on and/or name and any saints you know who struggled with distractions and briefly share their stories.
2. Too often, we may be tempted to shorten our prayer time if not forget it all together when we are busy and/or overwhelmed. At the beginning of the day, do you make a priority of prayer? Do you have other regular habits that you can put on pause until you have taken the time to sit with God (playing Wordle, eating breakfast, etc). Is it possible for you to let your knees hit the floor before your feet do? Perhaps at the end of the long day, you prefer to watch a funny sitcom than to pray a rosary or a litany to a saint. Examine how your spend your time and make thoughtful and small resolutions to encourage you to turn more frequently to prayer. Make use of confession to overcome habits of distraction (especially when it comes to technology) and/or laziness.
3. How can you (re) organize your day so that you can approach it one task at a time. Is it possible to have three general goals, which may vary from day to day, so as not to overwhelm yourself with tasks, chores, etc?
4. What can you either remove from your life and/or add to your life to help declutter your heart, mind, and soul?
See the full Fall 2023 Discussion Guide for Leader Guidance (if using in small groups) and Recommended Reading on this topic.