The washer and dryer broke at the same time in the Norton household last month. Yet as Sarah Norton saw it, here was yet another opportunity for her to live out theology of the body and offer her family a self-gift.
“It’s no joke being without those comforts when there are four children and uniforms that need washing,” she said as she awaited the replacement machines. “Whew!”
The education in theology of the body that began for Sarah in college has taken on new meaning this past decade, in motherhood. The 34-year-old painter runs a print shop called Conversion Street Studio and lives in Eagan, Minn. – and she vividly recalls her introduction to TOB.
She was on a bus headed from North Dakota to Florida for a Seek conference, a road trip that provided ample time to dig back into her Catholic faith. There on the bus, she began reading “Men, Women and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility.”
“It blew my mind,” Sarah recalled.
She saw herself in a new light. An affirming one.
“Our bodies are awesome and intended for good, not to feed weird about having a body or shame,” she said. “Shame is what happened in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. It’s a fallen state, but reading about TOB and resting in what God intended for humanity was healing for me.”
The concept of self-gift resonates deeply with Sarah now.
“It’s taken on more and different meaning,” she said. “Self-gift, as a mom, looks very practical, especially with younger and multiple children. It’s used on things like cleaning, cooking, finding backpacks, homework. Yet in a mysterious way, it’s such a fulfilling and heart-expanding adventure. That self-gift never runs out if I’m focused on Jesus.”
Sarah tries to identify roadblocks to that generosity of heart.
“I want to empty myself of things I don’t need that are a hindrance to self-gift. For example, I love Hallmark Christmas movies. I would watch one every night after the kids go to sleep if I could. Yet that time spent could be used for: prayer, prepping well for the next day, sending kind texts to friends and getting on the same page with my spouse. These little things are super fulfilling and actively expanding our hearts for Jesus to come at Christmas. I do believe I can definitely be OK – and even happier – watching a Hallmark movie just once a week! I also think of the Advent wreath candles and how each week we add more light to it. I feel like doing little self-gift things is so naturally good for us as humans that they eventually build and build and make our hearts glow like the Advent wreath. TOB is genius like that.”
She reminds her children of the reason for the season – Jesus’ birth, not material consumption. That means limiting Christmas presents.
“We get them two presents,” she said. “That’s what it is. Because we know they’ll get presents from other people. There were a couple years there, in the beginning, when, after opening all these gifts, we didn’t feel happy. So we slowly dropped off on the presents. The last two years we’ve done the two-present thing.”
Some parents might worry about cutting back on gifts after a precedent is set, but the Norton kids didn’t seem to notice.
“The kids get a lot of things – and a lot of it tends to go in the trash,” Sarah said. “As Catholics, we believe there really is a connection between us and our environment, the world God gave us. We’re not supposed to waste. That’s a main principle.”
It stands in stark contrast to the unboxing trend, where the main attraction for kids is unveiling plastic toys wrapped in layers of plastic – not playing with them later.
“I try to get them quality toys that they will keep,” Sarah said. “For example, my daughter has this cute wooden sushi set. It’s nicely made, hand-painted and she’s had it forever.”
Sarah once heard that Advent is meant to be a mini-Lent, a statement that stuck with her. “Advent reminds us to look for all the little times Christ comes to us in our day, those little moments when He speaks to us and we’re listening, or when He comes to us in the sacraments,” she said. “Advent opens that up.”